GOD IS NOT ANGRY

Hello everyone

I hope you are well and at peace.

Recently I went to speak at a weekend retreat in England
and I met a young lad who was struggling to understand
God's love for him. He felt that he was constantly trying
to prove himself to God. While I was praying for him I
sensed that God wanted him to know that He loved being
in every part of his life and not just when he was praying or in
church, but also when he was playing football and having
fun and even in the usual teenage struggles. When I told
him this, it was a massive weight being lifted from his
shoulders and I could see a great joy in him.

Years ago someone gave me a book called "God Is Not
Angry" by Father Ian Petit. In it he describes how we can
make the mistake of pretending to be holy on the outside,
but hide the mess we are within. He gives the example of
a man who is very greedy, but every time his wife asks
him if he wants a slice of chocolate cake, he says "No
thank you dear" but inside he still wants it. He can play
this game all his life but still remain greedy. Or he can
be real and honest with God about his greed and God
can begin to heal and change his heart.

A friend of mine struggled a lot with fear since he was
a young boy. In his late twenties he had a deep experience
of God's love and mercy, but the fear remained and
dominated his life. One night he had a dream in which
disgusting maggots were coming out from within him
and he was looking at them in a big pot before him. He
knew they represented the things about himself that he
didn't like, his weaknesses, bad habits and his general
brokenness. But in the dream there was one giant maggot
which was half in and half out of him and he was
wrestling with it to try and pull it out, but it wouldn't
come. He knew that this giant maggot was
the key to his fear and that it had a stronghold in him
that controlled him. He never forgot this dream and for
years he couldn't work out what the giant maggot
signified. Then one day while praying it dawned on
him that the thing which was dominating him, the
maggot with which he was wrestling, was perfectionism.
He could never truly accept himself and couldn't
even dream that God could accept him whilst he
allowed this lie [that we have to be perfect for God to
love us] to run his life. God loves us even with all our
maggots and when my friend began to realise this the
fear started to evaporate from his life, because he knew
that he could come before God just as he was and ask
His light and grace into absolutely every area especially
those he finds difficult to look at. Perfect love drives
out all fear!

Jean Vanier said we have to learn to tame the monsters
within us, and I believe the key to doing this is to ask Our
Lady to take us by the hand and help us to bring those
dark places in our hearts to Jesus her son so He can transform
those maggots into precious diamonds.

A girl I knew from Ireland went out to work with Mother
Teresa's sisters in the slums of Calcutta, whilst she was there
a priest who worked permanently with the destitute and
dying on the streets was giving them a talk in preparation
for the work she had volunteered to do. He said that
when you are holding a leper in your arms and there is
puss oozing from his wounds, don't wear gloves, don't be
disgusted because Jesus is right there in the excrement,
and unless you really know this, the work will be
impossible. At first she was shocked, but as the days and
weeks passed she realised it was true, that our humble
God never turns his back on anyone and it is only us
who put up walls to keep him out of certain situations
which we find uncomfortable and she remembered Jesus'
words "Whatever you did to the least of these, you did it
to me"

Over the last few weeks I have run parish missions in
Hereford, Convoy in County Donegal and at Walthamstow
in East London in the Church were my brother was baptised.
It was a great grace for me to do a mission so close to where
I grew up and to see people from such diverse cultures and
backgrounds packing the Church. Even though these are very difficult
times, it is evident that God is working powerfully to strengthen
and heal His children. I witnessed many people coming back to
the sacrament of confession and there were a lot of tears and also
an immense sense of joy.

I travelled to Poland and a young priest called Fr Chris was there
to show me around. He is only 30 years old and he has a great
passion for people to know the love of God. He was a gracious
host and went out of his way to make me feel welcome. One
evening at the venue where I was due to be speaking they served
a dish of meat pudding and Fr Chris noticed that I couldn't eat it, but
it was the only thing on the menu. So he drove me to a place where
they actually give you a fishing rod and you catch your own meal
from the lake next to the restaurant. I quickly landed a lovely trout
which I handed over to the cooks and within minutes I was eating
one of the most tasty meals you can imagine.

The next day as I got up to share my story to 3000 young people
I was reminded when Jesus said to St Peter "From now on I will make you
a fisher of men" and I smiled to myself at God's sense of humour.
When I had finished speaking the young people spontaneously
stood up and gave me an ovation which lasted five minutes. I knew
it was God who they were applauding because only He can make a
stone speak. After this they asked me questions for one and a half
hours. I was deeply moved by their openness and thirst for God.

Whilst I was in Krakow I had the honour to attend Mass in the seminary
where Blessed Pope John Paul II used to teach and I felt very close to
him. In that same city I visited the Shrine of Divine Mercy, and
at the convent where I was staying I mentioned to one of the sisters
that as a community we get up at 3 am every morning to pray
specifically for all those who are dying and also for those that God
sends us to minister to. After that we go back to sleep. To my
amazement she told me that for years now she has been getting up at
3 am and praying for three hours for the whole world, then
commencing her daily routine at 6 am. She said that this was her gift to
God, the freedom and joy that I saw in her was inspiring and I realised
that she knew with all her heart that God is not angry.

There was a sixteen year old boy who grew up in a very devout Catholic
family in France. He felt himself to be the black sheep of the family
because he was always getting into some sort of trouble. One day his
mum and dad told him that they were going to visit a lady called Marthe
Robin and he was going with them. Now Marthe had been paralysed and
bedridden since the age of 21 and she actually lived off the Eucharist
which was her only food for fifty years. She was well known to be a mystic
who could read the souls of the people she met. Now this young man was
petrified at the prospect of someone else knowing the state of his soul.
When he went into the room to meet her, she looked at him for a while and
then said "What are you so afraid of?" and to his own surprise he said "I'm
afraid of God" at this she burst out laughing, a laughter which was
infectious, and when she finally stopped she smiled gently at him and said
"How can anyone be afraid of God?" at this he physically felt the fear
leave him and his life was never the same again. Years have passed since
then, he is now a married man and also a deacon in the Catholic Church.
I must say that when he preaches about the mercy of God you know
that it is from personal experience.

St Faustina said that the greatest attribute of God is his mercy. We should
never be afraid of him because of our weakness. No matter how far we fall
in our own eyes we can always turn to him and say Jesus I trust in you.

You are very much in my heart and prayers

God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore

WALKING IN GOD'S PRESENCE

The Beauty of Venice






Hello Everyone


I hope you are well and at peace.


Whilst I was running a Parish mission in Duagh,
County Kerry, an eleven year old girl and her
mother came to speak with me. This young girl
had lost the sight in one of her eyes in an accident
which happened a year previously. A friend of
hers had thrown a stone and it had hit her in the
eye. The amazing thing was that she had completely
forgiven her friend and she had a beautiful sense of
of peace about her. When she had heard me share
my story on the Monday night she had told her mum
that she wanted to come and ask me for a hug but
had been afraid to do so, this time there was no
such shyness and I gave her a big hug. The thing she
most loved doing was gymnastics and she told me
that she had a big competition the coming weekend
and asked would I pray for her. A week later I
received a phone call telling me that she had won the
competition and she was thanking God. I thought it
was the least she deserved for her amazing witness of
forgiveness and courage.


Because of the fact that I am often travelling to
different place to do talks and run retreats God has
taught me some good lessons about discerning his
will. I find that in his will there are always little
miracles and you can see his hand at work, but if
I don't consult with him it is a disaster. A few years
ago I was asked to go and do some talks in Boston
in the USA. I jumped at the chance because I had
always wanted to visit Boston. Very quickly I
booked my flights and accommodation and put the
dates into my diary of engagements. A couple of 
months later the talks were cancelled. 
But because I had cleared the time in my diary and it 
wasn't possible to get a refund for the flights or hotel,
I travelled out anyway and used it as a holiday. The 
first day I arrived there I caught the Swine Flu and
I was confined to the hotel room for the entire week,
I saw virtually nothing of Boston and I felt awful,
physically and spiritually. At the end of the week I
was praying and I said to the Lord, "What was this
all about?" and I felt he said "Well you never asked
me about this trip, you came here simply because you
wanted to, it was nothing to do with me" It really hit
me because I knew it was true.


That whole episode taught me a massive lesson and
since then I pray about every trip I make. Whether or
not it is God's will? Where I should stay? How I should
travel? How long should I go for? No matter how enticing
something can look, it can easily be a red herring to take
us away from the people and places that God wants to lead
us to.


When I try (to the best of my ability) to discern God's will,
I always notice his blessing and grace on what I do. Recently
I had a weekend free before the mission in Kerry began and
I was asking God where he wanted me to go. I felt he wanted
me to go to a place called Sneem. When I arrived there, not
only was it very peaceful with breathtaking scenery, but
when I went to the local Church the priest who was saying
Mass was standing in for the village priest and he recognised
me and booked me to come and do a mission in his Parish.
Not only that but I met a person in the hotel and gave him a
copy of my book which came at exactly the right time in his
life. Now only God could arrange those things.


Next I went to Italy to do talks in and around Venice, It was
a joy to see the openness in the people that I met, there were
a lot of tears and I was very moved by their deep faith in God.
I spoke in parishes and schools and because of the earthquake
that took place one school talk was called off, but I was invited
to speak to a group of seminarians instead, which was a privilege.
These lads were on fire for God.


My good friend Augusto who published my book in Italian was
my translator during my time in Italy and we had a blessed few 
days together. One day he was looking to book a place to stay in 
Venice and he said he would stay at any old place, I said to him 
"Have you prayed where God wants you to stay?" and he just didn't
think it was important to God where he stayed. So I told him the 
whole Boston story that I mentioned earlier and he took it on board 
straight away and said from now on he would ask God into everything.


Years ago I had a friend named Michael and he felt called by God
to travel from place to place and to share his story at AA meetings.
He told me that he asked God into everything, even if he was going
shopping for clothes. One time he didn't have much money so he
told God that he needed a new jacket and asked for help in finding one.
He walked into a second hand shop and he saw a Jacket that he really
liked and it fitted him perfectly. This kind of stuff happened to him all
the time and he showed me that God does care about the little details
of our lives and wants to be involved. Michael's influence has stayed
with me and the greatest joy in my life is walking in God's presence.


This was my second trip to Venice but somehow the last time
I hadn't noticed the beauty of my surroundings, I think that was because
I had been so busy caught up doing what I thought was important 
rather than being in the present moment and seeing the wonder 
in the people and places that we encounter.


After returning from Italy I did a couple of talks at events connected to
the Eucharistic congress which took place in Dublin. The first was 
arranged by Luison who is part of Opus Dei, I was very impressed 
by his dedication and his obvious love for the young people who he was 
ministering to.


The second talk had a profound effect on me, it was to a small group of
secondary school students from Northern Ireland who had been brought
to the congress by one of their teachers. As I was sharing my story with
them I became aware that many of them had suffered a lot, even though
they were very young. But despite all the hurt they were still so open to 
God. At the end of the talk, some of them came and shared that hearing 
how God had come to me and taken me from such a dark and hopeless 
place had really touched their hearts. Then to my surprise the teacher got 
all of them to get out the musical instruments they had been carrying with 
them and to sing a song of praise to God. Well I don't exaggerate when I 
say that when they started to play I nearly fell over backwards with the 
power of the Holy Spirit and all of the children noticed that I was crying, 
and I thought to myself "Is this just me?" and I turned around to see my 
friend Niall with tears streaming down his face also. There is nothing more
beautiful than the love of God and the precious children that he has created.


You are in my heart and prayers.


God bless you in his deep love
John
  

THE FULLNESS OF TRUTH

SAINT JOHN BOSCO













Hello Everyone


I hope you are well and at peace,

After Easter I traveled to Paris do a talk in the Beautiful
church of Saint Sulpice, which is the second biggest in the
city. The event that was was taking place there was to
celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday, thousands of people
packed the Church for the Vigil and during the Mass Fr
Daniel Ange got up to speak and it was a such a blessing to
witness the fire and conviction with which he preached.

After the Mass my talk took place and I had a man called
Jean Phillipe translating my words into French. It is the
second time he has done this and I could tell that he was
truly translating the Spirit and not just the words. When I
thanked him for this he told me that he looked upon it as a
ministry for the Lord. It was great to spend some time with
him and to see his love for God and his desire that others
encounter that love.

Paris is a city that I love to visit and has a fantastic history
of great men and women of God. In the Church of the
Rue du Bac lies the in-corrupt body of St Catherine Laboure
to whom Our Lady gave the miraculous medal. When I
prayed in there I lifted up to Our Lady all the young people
to who I have spoken over the years many of whom I have
given miraculous medals. Around the corner to this is another
Church with the body of St Vincent de Paul whose witness
of service to the poor still bears fruit to this day.

A few years ago I had a dream which reminded me just how
important the Saints are in our walk with God. Not only are
they witnesses by their very lives, but they stand before God
and intercede for us and their missions have not finished just
because they are in heaven. Another French Saint, Therese
of Lisieux said "I will spend my heaven doing good upon earth".
In the dream which I mentioned I was surrounded by Lions
and at first I was afraid of them, but then I was aware that the
Lions were in fact protecting me. When I prayed about this I
felt that God was showing me that the Lions represented the
Saints and they are a powerful source of protection and help.

When I returned from Paris I was running Parish missions in
Donnamanagh, Co Tyrone and then in Bohola,Co Mayo.
After which I ran a retreat entitled 'Healing the wounds of
our past' in Knock. During this retreat I felt that God
was showing me that if we really want to be free to serve
him wholeheartedly and to find healing in our lives we must
use the fullness of the truth that God has given us in his Church.
In other words the Sacraments of the Church, The word of God,
The Saints, The Angels and Our Lady. If we use all that God has
made available to us it is an awesome power and the words that
Jesus spoke to Peter should echo in our hearts "You are Peter
and upon this rock I will build my Church and the gates of hell
will not prevail against it". During the weekend there was immense
grace and I saw that many people were being set free to complete
the mission entrusted them by God.

Please keep a young man called Anthony in your prayers, he recently
spent a few days with me for the second time and he has gone back
to London and it is very difficult for him at the moment.

Over the last few weeks I have done Talks to secondary school
students in Banagher Co Offaly, Cahir Co. Tipperary and at
Tulla, Co Clare. At Tulla I met my old friend Sister Bosco
who has an amazing gift with young people. She has worked
at the school for 30 years and the teenagers absolutely love her,
because they know she loves them. Not surprisingly she has taken
her religious name from St John Bosco who is the patron saint of
young people, he once said "It is not enough for young people to
be loved, they must know that they are loved!" For me it was a
privilege to spend time with Sister Bosco and I always come away
feeling uplifted. I must say that on reading the emails that some
of the students sent to me after the talks it is clear that like all of us
they are crying out for love and truth in their lives.

I also led a one day school retreat for a group of students from
Irvinestown, Co Fermanagh, the highlight of the day was when
they went to confession and you could see the joy in them
afterwards.

I remember a couple of years ago I was doing a talk at a school
in Ireland and it was a Priest who was the school chaplain that
had asked me to come in and speak. I could see that it was a
tough place for him to minister in. I have great admiration for
people like him who keep going faithfully no matter what the
cost to themselves. I felt this so strongly that at the end of my
talk, in front of all the kids I knelt down and asked for his blessing.
As he was blessing me he burst into tears and quite spontaneously
all of the young people gave him a round of applause because I
think it had dawned on them how much he cared about them.

Mother Teresa often said we are not called to be successful but
Faithful, so let us pray that when we get to heaven we might hear
those words from Jesus "Well done good and faithful servant"
and that the Saints and Angels that we have called on to help us
during our lives would be there to welcome us to our heavenly
home.

You are very much in my heart and prayers.

God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore

THE WOUNDED BODY OF CHRIST BEING HEALED

Hello Everyone


I hope you are well and at peace.


Recently I had the joy to visit Houston in Texas where
I was doing some talks. From the moment I arrived at
the airport I was made to feel totally at home, I was 
met by a man called Phil who showed me around and
gave me my first taste of Texas hospitality, when you 
travel as much as I do you really appreciate when 
people go out of their way to make you feel so welcome. 


After my first talk a 14 year old girl came up to me and 
said that she had never felt God’s love for her and she 
doubted his existence. I asked her would she like me to 
say a prayer over her and she said yes. Whilst I was 
praying I sensed that she had suffered a lot in her 
childhood and I said to her that God had never wanted 
her to suffer. She began to weep and then turned to me 
and said “He’s real isn’t He?” For the first time in her life 
she knew that God loved her.


The person who invited me over was called Steve Bollman
who is the founder of a program called "That man is You!"
which is transforming men and teaching them what it is
to be an authentic Man of God. I must say it was a great
privilege to spend time with him and his wife. Both of them
are living their lives completely for God and not holding
anything back, you can see the joy in them because of that.  
Whilst I was there I spoke in a Parish, a university and at
women's prayer breakfast which was a first for me.


As I got chatting to the different folks at these events they
were so open it was like being with family members, time
and again people shared their struggles and difficulties of
everyday life and I shared my own, but in it all there was
incredible grace. None of us are perfect but God uses us
to bring healing to one another when we come together 
in his name.


Next I travelled to Bridgeport, Connecticut where I was 
running a Parish mission for Fr Peter Towsley. Before
becoming a Diocesan Priest Fr Peter had spent many
years with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity.
Usually when I do missions there are five of us on the
team, so it was a new experience to do one on my own.
It was great to hear at the end of my time there that many
people had come back to the Sacrament of confession after
years away.


I went to meet one particular family who had seven children 
and both the mother and father were working full time for
God. The mother in natural family planning and the Dad 
for the Knights of Columbus. Once again I felt part of the
family straight away and enjoyed showing the lads that an
Englishman could beat them at pool. 


At the end of my time in Bridgeport my old mate Br Francis
came and picked me up and drove me to New York where 
he had arranged a few talks. I had first met Br Francis twenty
years previously when we were both newly converted to our
faith and we had some great adventures together as God taught
us his ways. At one point he read the story of St Francis of Asissi
and how he had given away all of his riches for love of God,
and the next day inspired by this he literally gave away everything
he owned and decided he wanted to follow in his footsteps. Not
long after he joined the Franciscans of the Renewal where he 
has been for the last sixteen years.


The first talk I did was for a community called the Bruderhof in
upstate New York. They are an amazing group who live a very
simple life just trying to follow the Gospel as closely as they can.
They are a great example to me of charity and hospitality and every
time I have visited them I always come away enriched in some way.


Then I spoke at a place called Children's village in New York city,
most of the teenagers who live there are either orphans or no longer
able to live with their parents. All of them have suffered in their young
lives. As I was speaking to them I knew that God was reaching into
their pain and showing them that they are precious to him and very
important in his plans, the scripture came to me "Even if your father
and mother forget you, I will never forget you."


On St Patricks day I spoke at the associates day of one of the Franciscan
houses, the associates are like third order Franciscans, who help out
with the various ministry's to the poor and young people and they all
come together once a month for a day of prayer. It was a real blessing
to me to meet some of my old friends from the time I had spent as friar 
myself years earlier. Once again it felt like being with family and I had 
some beautiful grace filled conversations.


Next I went to run a Parish mission in Hamilton, Ontario with a great 
priest called Fr William Trusz. One man came up to me and shared
that he had been to confession for the first time in thirty five years and
it had changed his life, and I knew that the whole trip would have been
worth it just for him.


I got back to Ireland on the Wednesday of Holy week and myself and 
Niall who is in community with me, went into one of the local pubs for 
a pint of Guinness and a game of pool, after having gone to confession at
our Parish reconciliation service. The barmaid asked us if we were in
Ireland on holiday, so we told her that we actually live here and run 
missions in parishes and schools, as we told her this tears began to 
well up in her eyes and she said that when she was younger she wanted
to join the nuns and she actually helped run retreats for young people
but she had become an alcoholic and had stopped going to Mass a long
time ago. I told her that Jesus misses her and she said she knew it was
true. I gave her one of my books and she said she was definitely going
to read it. Unbeknown to me one of the men sitting at the bar had 
overheard the entire conversation and had asked the barmaid if he could
look at my book, then he came over to me and told me that he had spent
a lot of his life in prison for various crimes and he was so happy to hear
that people could change, he said he wasn't a religious man but the 
barmaid had promised to lend him copy of the book and he was looking
forward to reading how I'd changed. I thought I was going in the pub
just for a pint of Guinness but God had other plans. At every moment
of our lives he wants to bring his healing and his gentle mercy to all
those we meet and often it is through our very weakness.


I pray that you have a truly Blessed and joyful Easter Season.


You are very much in my heart and prayers.


God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore

GOD'S LIGHT CAN BREAK INTO OUR DARKNESS

St Therese (as painted by Br Francis Edkins CFR)












Hello everyone

I hope you are well and at peace,

A few weeks ago I was running a Parish mission in
Glenties in Co. Donegal. On the Tuesday night I gave
the talk on confession and then I left the Church early
because I had to be in Knock that same night. I had parked
my car in Fr Shane's driveway to make a quick getaway.
But when I got to the driveway it was full with the cars
of the priests who had come to hear confessions. Instead
of waiting patiently until the end of the service I made the
mistake of trying to drive across Fr Shane's lawn to slip
out a little gap that was there, to my horror my cars
wheels became deeply embedded in the turf and after
much wheel spinning  it became clear I was going to
need help to get out. In the end it escalated into about
10 strong blokes and a tow rope attached to another
car being used to get me out. Of course these men had
a great laugh at my expense, and rightly so.

As I was driving to knock after this episode I was thinking
how the whole situation reminded me of what the results
of sin are in our lives. First we go off the path God has planned
for us thinking that we know a better way and then when it is
too late to turn back we find ourselves completely bogged down
in our sin and unable to escape on our own strength. It is then
that we reach out for help and Jesus is always there to not only
forgive us but to put us back on the right path when we turn to
him in the Sacrament of reconciliation.

Of course the car had left a couple of massive holes in Fr Shane's
lawn, which I felt bad about, when I apologised to him he laughed
and told me he was now thinking of turning the holes into a fish
pond.

Last week I went to Waterford to speak in the De La Salle School
and the RE teacher Dermot managed to put 500 young people together
for the talk and it was so refreshing to see their openness. Afterwards
I received some beautiful emails expressing how some of the students
were going to return to mass and really try to make God an important
part of their lives.

One thing that I have noticed more and more lately is that God can
reach out and touch lives at a very young age, recently a teenage
girl called Sarah came to stay with us for a week to do her work
experience from school. Five years ago she came to one of the
Masses at a retreat we we doing in her Church, even though she
was only ten years of age, she felt a deep sense of Our Lady's
love for her and not only did it transform her own life but her
whole family have come alive in their faith. She is fearless for
God and has spoken in Churches all over Ireland and she is
not yet sixteen, to me that is amazing!

Whenever we truly meet the love of God, he changes us and
he shines his light into our darkness, to those places where
we don't feel we can be loved. I used to be addicted to
gambling, but seven years ago I made a promise to God never
to gamble again. I had a priest offer up a Mass for this
intention and even presented my promise at the offertory.
Four years after this I was giving talks in Phoenix, Arizona,
and not far from Phoenix is Las Vegas, the gambling capital
of the world. A thought came to me "You've overcome gambling,
why not go and visit Las Vegas?" Looking back I know that thought
wasn't from God. When I got to Vegas I lasted about half a day but
then I blew $200 dollars on a roullette table, and to justify my sin I
gave the croupier a miraculous medal and said to myself that's why
I came to this place. Then I felt God say to me "who are you trying
to kid?"

I felt absolutely devastated at this betrayal of God and breaking the
promise I had made to him. So I found a Catholic Church and I knelt
down before a statue of Our Lady and said to her that I was going
to pray a rosary to make up for my wretchedness, but I felt her
say "NO, Let me pray over You!" Then I felt she reached into my
heart and touched the place where no one else knows about and I
don't want anyone to see, the place which I would hide even from
myself and she showed me in a deeper way than words can express
that I am totally loved and accepted. Since that day I have never
again had the desire to gamble.

I think God calls us to bring that utter mercy and acceptance to
everyone we meet and to show people that no matter where they
have been or what they have done he has a heart that burns
with love for them and he has healing in his hands. St Therese of
Lisieux is the patron Saint of missions and I feel she is so powerful
a helper in this work. She said that "I will spend my heaven doing
good upon earth!" and I never do a talk now without calling upon
her to bring down the fire of the Holy Spirit from Heaven. Imagine
my joy when my great friend Br Francis who is now based in
New York, sent me as a birthday present the picture of Therese
(that I have attached to this message) which he painted himself.
It is even more incredible when you consider that until he joined
the Franciscans brother Francis had never painted before.

Please keep us in your prayers that God will reach more and more
lives with his mercy. As I was leaving a mission a few days ago a woman
in her fifties came up to me and said that this week she had made
the first real confession of her life and her best friend had also gone after
being away from the Sacrament for twenty years, she told me she
felt so happy it was like being innocent as a child again.

This week I am travelling to Texas, then Connecticut, New York and
Finally Toronto to give talks. It is always good to go back
to New York. A few years ago I was in the Bronx and I was taking
part in a retreat and because I used to smoke I went outside for a
cigarette, now this particular area was well known for prostitution
and one of these ladies approached me and asked me for a light,
as I looked into her eyes I could see a real deadness, she had given
up on anything good ever happening to her. So I told her that there
was once a fifteen year old girl who fell in love with a man, but he used
her abused her and dumped her and her heart was torn within her.
Soon after she met another man and once again she fell in love only
for the same thing to happen to her again.
This pattern continued until eventually the girl was selling herself
for the money she needed to survive. Everyone looked down on
her and judged her, but one day she met a man unlike any other,
he seemed to see deep into her heart and accepted and cherished
her for who she was, she fell to her knees before him, washed his feet
with her tears and dried them with her hair. The man was Jesus, the
woman was Mary Magdalene. As I finished the story there was a
light in the Lady's eyes, the light of hope, and I knew that she had
remembered the story perhaps from her childhood, then she said
to me "Will you please pray for me?" I have prayed for her every
day since and one day I hope to meet her in heaven.

You are very much in my heart and prayers.

God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore

GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS!

Hello everyone

I hope you are well and at peace

Just before Christmas I was running a Parish mission
at Ayrfield in Dublin. There I met a man who had been
very badly betrayed by some people he trusted, because
of this he found it very hard to trust anyone again. But
because he had read my book he was willing to open
up to me, he wanted to go to confession but he was

scared, so I introduced him to Fr Tom the Parish Priest

who has an incredible gift of loving, he was able to unload
all the burdens he was carrying to him and afterwards he
was deeply touched by the love of God in the healing service.
Fr Tom said that the whole mission was worthwhile just
for him.

Next I flew to Los Angeles and as I was going through

border control entering the United States, the man who
was checking my passport said "You seem to have visited
a lot of different countries, for what purpose" I told him that
I am an evangelist and I write books. "What kind of books?"
was his reply, so I told him I used to be a Gangster in
London until God changed my life.  He then asked "did
you spend time in prison?" I said "I'm not going to tell you!"
(there was always the possibility that he wouldn't let me into
the country with my record) we both laughed and he said
"I love books like that!" so I gave him a copy, and he cleared
me to enter country. I had to smile because only God
could have arranged such an incident.

We arrived in LA on Christmas Eve and we where driving
around looking for a place to eat, but of course everywhere
was full, I pulled up outside a Polish restaurant, Niall
went in to see if there was any tables free and while he was
waiting he felt inspired to give one of the waitresses a miraculous
medal and she was so delighted, it obviously meant a lot to
her. Even though it was very busy they cleared a table for us
and we had a lovely meal and despite being half way round
the world they made as feel like a part of their family in the
restaurant. At the end of the meal I gave the same waitress
my rosary beads and she was very moved and just gave
me a big hug, she had a deep faith in God and he seemed
to be showing her on Christmas Eve how precious she was
to him.

Even though we were on holiday there were many occasions
where the Holy Spirit asked us to be available to him and
as Mother Teresa used to say "Give until it hurts"

Whilst in Los Angeles I spent some time with Paul Kelmenson
who you might remember is a big producer that would like
to turn my book into a film, his mother who is an actress herself
joined us and we had a blessed time together. We discussed
how difficult it is to give witness to God in an environment like
Hollywood. In my opinion he is a great witness as is his mum.
We went to Mass together in Beverley hills in the Church where
Frank Sinatra's funeral took place and where many of the stars
have worshiped God.

We then traveled to Mexico City to visit the shrine of Our Lady
of Guadalupe, years previously I had consecrated my heart to
Mary before this very image and it was always my desire to
visit the shrine. During Mass in the Basilica, a family sat beside
me who were obviously very poor and had probably walked
a long way to get there as they were covered in dust.They had
a young son, I felt Our Lady ask me to give the little boy some
money, as I did so I told him "this is for Christmas" and he lit up
and he gestured that he would pray for me, I said I would do
the same.

After flying back from the States, we departed directly for
England to run two weeks of  retreats at a school
in Canterbury, even before we started we were jet lagged.
It was a hard slog and we had to be up at 5am each morning
and there were also talks in the evenings, after having been
in the school all day. We had a day off scheduled, but lo and
behold talks were arranged on that day also. By this stage
we all felt tired, but then the words of Mother Teresa came
back to me once more "Give until it hurts". God asks us to
be generous, especially when we don't particularly feel like it.

Each day of the retreat the students had the opportunity
to go to confession and over the two weeks literally hundreds
of them took advantage of this sacrament of forgiveness and
there were a lot of tears during these services. Many of them
emailed me to tell of there experience of meeting Jesus in a
very real way and they said it had changed their lives. Some
days the demand for confession was simply too great for the
number of priests we had.

On the final day of the retreat we had a school Mass and
Bishop John Hine presided and eight other priests concelebrated
with him, these had come because they had been so moved
by hearing the young peoples confessions and by the retreats
during the fortnight we were there. This was a truly joyful end
to the mission and the words of scripture came to me "Those
who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap."

Here are a couple of the emails the students sent after the retreats;
one young lad wrote "Thanks for what you did at the school today,
I felt a big emptiness in me for a long time but I was afraid to tell
anyone, God has filled that emptiness and made me feel loved."
one of the girls said "I just wanted to email and say thank you for
the mission it really made me feel better about being open about
my religion, I used to get teased but your retreat helped me realise
I shouldn't hide who I am, so thanks." Finally another girl expressed
"After I went to confession at the retreat today I felt a wave of relief
pour out over me, and I realised what a good day it had been as I
had found a way back into Jesus. The miraculous medal you gave
us is on me, and I doubt it will come off, and I have just done a decade
of the rosary, I haven't done one in years, again after it an overwhelming
sense of peace came over me, I'm also going back to church on Sunday.
I've realised what a beautiful place the world is and how everyone fits
into that beauty."

I really believe the more we give the more we receive and God is never
outdone in generosity, even though I'm tired I know how much God has
used his broken instruments.

Rich Mullins the famous christian singer/songwriter once said, "Unless we
fall into bed each night exhausted, from bringing souls to God, what right
do we have to say we are christian?"

You  and all those you love are very much in my prayers

God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore

"BECOME VULNERABLE LIKE THE CHILD JESUS"

Hello Everyone


I hope you are well and at peace


I have just returned to Ireland after a tour of England
and Scotland running parish missions and speaking
in schools across the country.


The last day of the tour I got up early in the morning
and drove two hours to speak in a school at Barrow
in Furness, Cumbria. After the talk was finished I
then drove four hours up to Cairnryan to catch my
ferry to Belfast and by this stage I was looking 
forward to getting home. But when the ferry got to
Belfast and I was in my car ready to drive off, for
some reason the ramp wouldn't open and I was
stuck for two hours, I felt like Jonah in the belly
of the whale. When I eventually got back to our 
house I must admit I was pretty tired and 
discouraged and moaning a bit to God. I went to 
check my emails and the first one I read was the
following,


"Hello, I was at the school today when you did the 
talk. Before you came I was a strong athiest, I 
believed God did not choose me as one he will 
love. But today when you told us to say the prayer 
in the silence of our hearts, my heart felt warm and 
I had such a strong feeling inside me that Jesus was 
very close to me. I now believe there is someone
looking down on me and protecting me. I want a 
crucifix like the one you had today to show God 
suffered out of love for us."


I can honestly say I was blown away by God's 
goodness at that moment, the way he shows us
his grace when we least expect it and when we 
don't deserve it.


Next week I will be meeting a woman called
Betty Brennan, a few years ago I heard her testimony
and it made a deep impact on my life. The thing that
hit me was when she said before she did a talk she was
always very honest with God, and she would give him her 
desire to be loved and accepted by the people she was 
speaking to, also her pride and ego and all the secret 
emotions that we all have. In other words being open 
and vulnerable before God and not pretending that these 
things are not in us. Since then I have always tried to do 
the same. I had a spiritual director called Fr Denis Herlihy 
and he said that all spiritual growth depends on honesty with
ourselves and honesty with God.


One time I was asked to come and help run a youth
retreat and the organiser of the retreat kept telling me
that he loved what I  had done and was going to get me to
speak in many different places where he had connections.
As the week of the retreat went by I noticed that it could
have been run in a way which the kids would have a much
greater chance of a personal encounter with God. I had
a dilemma, should I say something or keep quiet? I went
into the chapel and began to speak to God about it, the
more I prayed the more I felt I should say something, then
I said to God, what if I say something and because of that
I won't be asked to do all these other talks? I felt God
responded, Who do you serve? Who do you think arranges
your schedule, him or me?


I knew what I had to do, I spoke to the man about the changes
that I felt would help and there really was great grace because
of them, but sure enough there was no contact from him from
that time onwards about the talks he had promised. But just a
few weeks later my phone rang and I was invited to come and
speak at the World Youth Day in Sydney to nearly half a million
young people in one talk. I knew that only God could have
arranged it, and he was showing me that when I serve him he
will take care of everything else.


Shortly before that talk took place, I was in a gathering of youth
leaders and we were singing praise to God, around that time I
had been doing a lot of media work with TV and radio and there
was a loads of hype connected with World Youth Day. But during
this time of prayer I felt like a little child kneeling before the throne
of God, naked with nothing between me and that gaze of the Lord,
he could see straight past all the outward things and I felt him say
"It is you that I love!" All I could do was thank him that he would
give someone like me the privilage of speaking on his behalf.


As we approach Christmas and the birth of Jesus, who humbled
himself to come to us as a helpless child and entrusted himself
into the safe arms of Our Lady, I am reminded that every time
I feel down or crushed by the difficulties and pressures of life,
I can go to Our Lady and ask her to hold me in her arms and it 
is there we can always find the peace and strength that we all need.


You and all your loved ones are in my heart and prayers this 
Christmas.


God bless you in his deep love
John Pridmore